Alter Interview
by C.T. Church
Summary: An interview with the main character of my 2006 NaNoWriMo project, Alter.This was an exercise from the LJ NaNoLJers community.


My pants were itchy, and my ass was wet. That's what I get for sitting on the ground of some ally in the Redmond Barrens. The worst part, I had gone through six cigarettes since waiting, and I only had two left. I hate waiting.

I was in the middle of my last cigarette when she showed up. Walking down the ally, rummaging through the large black purse she had dangling from her shoulder. She looked out of place. She looked odd, period. The first thing I noticed were her legs, as it was the first part of her that came out of the shadow. Black sneakers, stockings, and a dark gray skirt that came just down to her knees. As the line of light moved up her body I noticed a no nonsense business woman, hair pulled back in a make-shift ponytail, black rimmed glasses that slide further down her nose each step she took.

Jayne stopped two feet in front of me, and slid the glasses back up her nose.

"Smoking is disgusting." she said looking down at me.

"So's wearing sneakers with stockings. Now what the fuck did you want?" I said as I tossed the butt in a nearby puddle.

Without saying a word she moved to the opposite side of the ally across from me, and kicked over a garbage can. Garbage and dazed rats scurried about, then she sat down on the overturned can.

_Why the fuck didn't I think of that?_

She set her purse down in front of her, and pulled out a little recorder the size and shape of a pen. She stuck it in the pocket of her jacket. "Alter, I'm glad you actually showed up this time."

"Yeah, well, I've been here for over a half an hour, you said be here at 10pm."

"It's 9:45, exact. You should really get your watch fixed." She said as she smirked.

_I should really wear a watch._

"Ok, down to business. He has some questions for you. A sort of interview, if you will."

"You called me here to ask me shit you know I don't even know?" I said, as I brushed off a roach crawling up my coat. A wet ass really isn't worth this. "If he knows everything there is to know about me, why the fuck are you asking?"

"We want to find out what you've found out. Now, I'm going to start asking questions, so please, only serious responses." She clicked the top of her recorder, and leaned back against the wall.

"You know, for an elf, you're not so skinny." I tried to hold back a smile.

"I didn't ask a question yet." She said, obviously insulted.

"I know, I just wanted to get that on record."

Without a comeback, she leaned forward again and began her questions. I know that her "recorder" wasn't really a recorder, but a transmitter. Sending the audio back to some computer, probably _his_ computer, in the form of text.

**Jayne:** "What year were you born?"

**Alter:** "An associate of mine said according to test results, I'm between 18 and 25. So somewhere between 50 and 57."

**Jayne:** "Where were you born?"

**Alter:** "No clue."

**Jayne:** "Your full name?"

**Alter:** "Gabe Astard"

**Jayne:** "Cute, but no more smart ass answers."

**Alter:** "Ok, I don't know my real name."

**Jayne:** "Good, what's..."

**Alter:** "I'm not really gay, by the way. I was just..."

**Jayne:** "I got it. What's your earliest childhood memory?"

**Alter:** "Nadda."

**Jayne:** "So nothing before Seattle?"

**Alter:** "Not a thing."

**Jayne:** "Ok, so what's the first memory that you can.. remember?"

**Alter:** "I woke up in a bar, I reeked of whiskey, and I had a headache. Which is odd, because I don't drink. But a bunch of Gangers were messing with a waitress, and one thing leads to another, I get into a fight and I leave with the waitress with a few new cuts, bruises, and bullet wounds. At least I think they were new, I could have had them before I woke up..."

**Jayne:** "The body count was fifteen, plus six severely injured."

**Alter:** "I wasn't keeping count."

**Jayne:** "I'm sure. Any other information you feel like sharing?"

**Alter:** "My ass is wet."

**Jayne:** "I'll contact you in a month."

**Alter:** "What makes you think I'll still be in Seattle?"

**Jayne:** "Because you have no where else to go."

**_: ... end transmission_**


End file.
